This is a terrible thing to admit, but I once watched the reality TV show Wife Swap.
It doesn't matter if you've never seen it - the title tells you pretty much everything you need to know. Two wives trade places - living life in another woman's home for two weeks. During the first week, they have to live by the rules of the new house - assimilating to the lifestyle of the wife who left. (Wives were required to leave behind a manual of instructions for how things were generally done in their home.) In the second week, they are allowed to make changes to their environment. They can set new house rules or impose changes on the household. In good reality-TV fashion, changes were always met with resistance.
It was fun to watch the conflicts and emotional outbursts and requisite drama. It was reality TV at its best/worst. But I still remember that at the end of the swap...when they got to go home...the most common emotion everyone felt was relief. Wives were relieved to get back to their homes, and husbands and children were happy to have their spouses and mothers back. At the beginning of the episode they had been ready for adventure - ready to leave their world behind. At the end they were always happy to get back to the life they had built for themselves. I always liked that part - where everyone in the family reaffirmed their appreciation for each other. Yea - this is the life we've built, and oh yeah, we kinda like it.
Do most of us think the grass is greener somewhere else? Sure. Do we build up in our mind the day that we get to do that OTHER thing - that thing that isn't present in our current life? Yes, I think we do. A lot of us plan and save and idealize something other than our daily lives. Meanwhile we miss the one we are currently living....the one we have built....the one we are IN.
When I started writing today, Wife Swap wasn't on my mind at all. But these quotes were:
Live the life you love.
&
Live the life you've imagined.
Close readers may remember that I used the first quote in my first blog post - the one in which I explained my plans for an adult gap year sojourn.
Would you believe that six months to the day I started my sojourn - I literally SAT on the second quote?
You see - I've found this beautiful place to write - behind a public library in the western mountains in Maine.
There is a back patio off the Carrabassett Valley Community Center - which houses a library and an early childhood center - and it has become my new home away from home. The patio has sturdy outdoor tables and chairs, electricity, good wifi, pretty flowers and foliage all around. And there is a bench back here that says "Live the life you've imagined".
Now, I know there are pithy quotes everywhere. But I don't go into souvenir shops with painted wood signs that tell me to Live, Laugh and Love, and I don't see them much on the roads that I travel. I think it's significant that the place I've chosen to hang out for the last few days has this bench with this quote. I think it's time to re-evaluate - six months into this adult gap year - am I doing what I set out to do and making this year all that I imagined it could be?
The answer, happily, is yes! I have traveled all over this beautiful country, from tide pool to shining tide pool, and I have spent quality time with family and friends. I have been steadily writing and journaling and building up a discipline for my craft. I have been working out daily and reading more than ever. Yes, I have moments of doubt and loneliness. I have moments when I want to turn the car for home. But when I have those moments I have learned I need to make myself DO something - maybe eat, run, read, stretch, or listen to music. Lately it's been reading a book or running by a river. When I do those things, my equilibrium returns and my mind is more peaceful. I can remember why I'm out here once again.
I am here for the magic that can be found in the misty morning of a new day....
I am here for the stillness that can be found in reflection....
I am here for the joy that can be felt at the apogee of a challenge....
And I am here to write about it for you. For whatever that's worth, and whatever you may take away.
So it's six-month check-in time, readers. Are you living the life you imagined? Whatcha been waiting on, McCall? Why don't you start by jumping in a swimming hole? Or is that just me projecting? Sojourn on!
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